Center of my World

Home from date night, at
ten p.m., and through the window
I see a blonde tuft

'He's still up' I sigh
as we walk towards the house, I
see him on the couch

On grandma's lap, in
only a diaper, we walk in
'I tried my darndest'

He cries when they leave,
was fussy while we were gone, and
now overtired

I lie with him on
the couch, he zones out to the
soft sounds of Spongebob

I wrap my arm now
around his waist, and feel his
hair tickle my face

Only moments now
until his breathing deepens
and slows, tiny snores

I don't feel annoyed,
not today. I only feel
thankful for his life.

I get to hold him
close to me, he won't be a
baby forever

It's been a tough week,
emotions have run high, and
thoughts have gone to dark

Now I try to hold
every moment, slow the clock
fill my heart with love

My little boy, my
love, center of my world, I
can't breathe without him

Yesterday was one of the quietest days I've experienced in the blogosphere since I started blogging and filling my reader and twitter with friends and people I admire. I think that the bloggy world was tired, hundreds of moms and dads spent the day on Wednesday crying, imagining, and trying to figure out how we could help do something - anything - for Heather and Mike Spohr.

My son was at the babysitter, and I spent the day relaxing. After the babysitter, my Mom was over to watch him for date night. When we got home, I was bummed at first that he was still up. It was WAY past his bedtime, and he should've been asleep. We came into the house, and he'd been fussy the whole time we were gone. He cried when we left. He didn't eat dinner. And he wouldn't go to bed. I guess we learned our lesson about doing Babysitter & Date Night in the same day - too much!

He cried when Grandma left, but quickly climbed onto the couch, and in minutes we were lying under a blanket together watching Spongebob with my arm around him. It was only moments until he fell asleep. Today, I didn't feel anxious. I didn't feel upset that he was still up. Instead I just savored the feeling of his warm skin, the touch of his hair on my face.

These are moments that will be engraved in me forever. Hopefully I will grow old with a healthy son, and hold these moments as only a few of the ones I cherish, remembering the old days as I cherish the new. Right now, all I know is that I love him. That one day, we'll grow apart as all parents and children must, but for now I will hold him while he sleeps, listen to his breathing, and thank God for the gift of this wonderful little person.

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