I am really hating this transition to the big boy bed. It is physically painful to me to sit in the living room (RIGHT around the corner from where he is, because our house is the size of a VW Van) and listen to him cry and say "Mama come back". I absolutely hate it.
Right now he is standing only a short distance away from me, seperated by a while crying and saying "come on, come on". I can see him in the mirror behind me, his bedroom door doesn't have a lock on it or anything. He doesn't always open the door, but tonight he did. We have a gate up in the doorway so even if he opens the door he can't come out into the rest of the house. Justin just went in there and I could hear Sam telling him to "lay down". Justin is going to lay with him for one song, maybe I will get a 2 minute rest from the crying, but I fear that once Justin comes back out, it'll just be more crying and begging.
It sucks so much that I have a hard time putting it in words, and some nights I find myself with tears in my eyes.
At the same time, I know that laying in his bed with him every night until he falls asleep is not a good option. It might be easier, sometimes. But it also means I get less time to myself after Sam goes to bed because I'm laying in there with him, and then I'm so tired when I come out that I don't really get anything done. Since he got the bed, we haven't been strict about it, but it's time.
We need to be able to tuck him in and leave him to put himself to sleep because it really affects what happens when he wakes up in the middle of the night. If he has been going to be on his own, he can sooth himself and put himself back to sleep when he wakes up during the night. The nights I fall alseep in bed with him, he wants me to come in and lie with him until he falls asleep again in the middle of the night.
It's harder for me than for Justin, he's more able to look at it logically and knows there's an end goal in sight.
We've been here before. We've done cry-it-out before and it worked. I know that if we keep this up for a couple of weeks, it will most likely even out, he'll start going to bed on his own and it will be completely awesome.
Justin just came back out, and all is quiet. Maybe he's going to sleep on his own. In the long run, it's not a huge trama. It's just that it's hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel while I listen to my baby crying.
