Bad Days

Yesterday was a bad day.

It started okay, with Sam sleeping in until 9.

We were going to a garden party, hosted by one of the moms from my Facebook mama's group.

I was really looking forward to meeting and chatting with a bunch of awesome women I'd never met before.

20 minutes into it Sam started to whine and complain about how he didn't want to be there.

After another 20 minutes, including whining and sitting down in the grass and crying and begging me to leave, I decided we would.

There was no point in sitting there and making everyone else listen to it, and I wasn't getting to talk to anyone other than Sam.

I was mad at him because there was another kid there his age, who had ninja turtle toys no less, and Sam refused to even talk to him.

He would not make any effort to have a good time.

I said, fine, let's go but told him we were NOT going home to watch game videos or play the Wii, and that he would not get everything he wanted today.

Total meltdown.

He cried all the way home and for a while after.

Telling me he was sad, telling me to apologize, telling me he felt like I didn't love him, that it was not a good day etc.

I cried too.

It's hard when things like this happen normally, but with the extra rawness of my emotions and stress from other stuff going on, it is horrible.

He finally calmed down but had another mini meltdown when I would not let him watch one of his videos before leaving for the doctor.

Then we went to the doctor.

Sam's encopresis is not solved in any way.

We got an X-Ray and it turns out that, in fact, it is WORSE now than it was in April.

Which means either the cleanout we did before did not work all the way.  OR it has somehow gotten this bad again in only 2 months, despite regular BMs.

I know this is gross, but I am so incredibly frustrated.

We have to do the cleanout again, and it's really hard for both of us.

He has to take a lot of medicine, and we are pretty much housebound for at least 4-5 days.

It is messy.

And unpleasant.

I am worried that there is something else wrong, but everything I read about impacted bowels just says this is the cause.

We are supposed to go back to the doctor in 2-3 weeks.

I will ask for another X-Ray then, to make sure that it worked and we are really starting from empty this time.

Part of me hopes that it will show that it didn't fully work.

Because then I wouldn't feel so crappy about not doing it right the first time, and somehow messing up the last 2 months so we have to go through all of this again.

I cried on the way home from there too.

Danny was super fussy after we got home.

I am exhausted.

I got time to myself last night, but now it's 9 am and I'm already on the edge today.

Sam is being good, but Danny is being a pill.

He won't eat the food I give him, and I can tell he is hungry and would be happier if he would eat something.

He is whining and hitting his brother.

Justin and I conflicted this morning too which never helps the day start off well.

I feel like I want to run away for a week and just be by myself.

Maybe in a few hours I will feel better.

But for now, it's just bad days.