There's no business like someone else's business

Today's guest poster is Janet from the Planet of Janet, another of my favorite blogs! One of the things I love most about her blog are her adventures and conversations with the Roo Girl, who will be in HIGH SCHOOL this year. Agh! Janet is an amazing woman, and since she has a plan to take over the whole internet, it was not hard to get her to agree to take my place here.

There's No Business Like Someone Else's Business

Hi, everyone. In my never-ending quest to take over the blogosphere one guest post at a time, I have invaded Rachael's turf today. Hopefully she won't regret giving me the keys for today!

I'm Janet, one of about a gazillion Janets who blog, but I'm the only one with my own planet.

Those who know and love me like me tolerate me a little know that I have bathroom issues. Specifically, there are places where I will "go" and places where I will not.

The workplace restroom, fortunately, is one of the "go"-to places. And I can find refuge there -- in the center stall. A place where I have gone for inspiration when I couldn't think of what to write.

The place where I now go to play sudoku on my iPhone.

Oh, come on. You know you do it too. You take your phone into the bathroom at work and text someone. If you have a Crackberry or an iPhone, you compulsively check your email in there.

I mean, you gotta do SOMETHING to entertain yourself if you don't have reading material!

But here is something I will never do:

I will never ever ever ever ever take my cell phone into the bathroom while in mid-conversation.

Because ... ew.

I don't want people I'm talking with to hear other people's bathroom noises. Face it, I barely can tolerate other people's bathroom noises. Considering how squirrely I am about bathrooms, I can barely tolerate my OWN bathroom noises.

And I for sure don't want someone else to broadcast those noises over the wireless network.

So, there I was last week, minding my own business (heh) and playing a kick-butt game of sudoku when my silent meditation was rudely interrupted by an opening bathroom door and loud -- and I mean LOUD -- talking.

"I just don't understand how he can be so RUDE," exclaimed a voice.

"Mrmph mrmphen mphermiferm," was a garbled and slightly tinny answer.

*Adjoining stall door opens, closes and latches*

"Yes, but maybe you should explain to him that this is not proper behavior," continued the LOUD VOICE.

"I know," came a newly identifiable voice. "But I wouldn't know where to start."

What the hell?

Yes, Ms. LOUD VOICE put her cell phone on SPEAKER in the public bathroom!!

This conversation continued while the sounds of her personal ... um ... BUSINESS took place.

And while I was in mid-business myself.

Let me tell you that my immediate response was to cease and desist all activities while this invasion of my privacy continued.

And continued.

And continued.

The phone conversation about someone else's rudeness stopped only for some flushing ... at which point Ms. LOUD VOICE announced, "Here, let me take you off speaker ..."

And she left the bathroom.

Without washing her hands.

I may never recover.

Come visit anytime at my planet, where I promise no one will invade your privacy.