Week "3": BLURGHARGHTHISAGAINSIGH....

Current Weight:  236. Ish.  Unofficial. OBVIOUSLY.
+/-  this week:  +4.8
+/- this round:   +3.6
+/- total:    -31
Short Term Goal:  222.4

Avg weekly loss needed to reach 189 lbs by age 33 (34 weeks): 1.4 lbs/wk

Remember a few weeks ago when I was on the wagon and YAY I lost a pound and then.... BLURGH.  My motivation is in the toilet.  I had a bad week and then I just kind of fell off the wagon and decided to eat whatever I want.  Then, a week ago, I got SICK.  I have been having dizzy spells and headaches and all kinds of other weird symptoms.  Its improving as of yesterday, but very slowly.

I also had a semi-discouraging doctor appointment and though my thyroid looks okay, my hormone levels (estrodiol and progesterone) are all freaky and I have now been referred to an allergist and back to my endocrinologist.  So, we'll see what happens there.  It was kind of a big debacle for me.  I went to a naturopath that my Mom goes to because I know he’s helped her and he did the full blood panel.  Then told me there were like 10 things that were off, including my hormones, my ferritin, my thyroid, my immunoglobulins, my something binding sex hormone, and my histamine reactions.  He wanted me to give up gluten and basically all sugar/processed food, gave me 2 supplements, and prescribed a hormone protocol that costs $90 a month and my insurance won’t cover.  I’ll be honest, I freaked the freak out after that appointment.  I was beyond overwhelmed and I went home and cried, disappointed that my body can’t just be NORMAL.  Honestly, it is hard enough for me to control the amount of food I put into my body, and I know that I have psychological issues with food, but the idea of changing my diet that completely just knocked me off my feet because it seemed like Mt. Everest.  So after calming down, I decided to take my bloodwork to a general practice dr. and see what he said.  Well, he basically didn’t mention several of the things the naturopath HAD mentioned, and referred me elsewhere to talk about my hormones.  Which is FINE, and I’d like to talk to the endocrinologist about my Metformin anyhow and make sure I’m on the right dosage etc.  And maybe she’ll be more knowledgable.  I don’t know, I wasn’t fully satisfied with EITHER appointment.  I wish I could find someone who was in between.  So now I am looking forward to at least 2 more doctor appointments.  It’s just exhausting.  But hopefully I’ll get everything figured out/straightened out.  It does make it harder to stick to the Weight Watchers plan when in my head I think I have the idea that my body is broken so what’s the use.

I just need to get back on the wagon, but it's hard when I'm super exhausted all the time.  I'm going to try though.  I haven't been getting anything done at all, which is frustrating.  I'm hoping soon to write a post about all the things that have happened so far in 2013... maybe I'll just do a Q1 wrapup.  There are these little/weird things I want to have recorded somewhere and not forget about, so we'll see.  And now I am going to go try to eat something not completely unhealthy for lunch.  And stop snacking on these delicious jellybeans at my desk.

Starting Weight 1 (Feb 2009):  267 lbs
Starting Weight 2 (Dec 2011):  249.8 lbs
Starting Weight 3 (Feb 2013):  232.4 lbs
Starting BMI:  41.8

Weight Lost:  35.8 lbs
Goal Weight: 160 lbs
Goal BMI:  25.1

Old Goal 1: 237.8 (5%) - Met 1/24/12
Old Goal 2: 225.8 (10%) - Met 4/10/12
Old Goal 3:  217 (50 pounds down) - Met 8/7/12
Old Goal 4: 213.5 (50% of final goal) - Met 9/25/12


Short Term Goal 1:  222.4 (10 pounds down this round)
Short Term Goal 2: 217 (50 pounds down [again...])
Short Term Goal 3:  207 (60 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 4: 199.9 (under 200 for the first time in 7+ years)
Short Term Goal 5: 192 (75 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 6: 189 (25% &  no longer "obese")

Long Term Goal: 160 lbs
Total to Lose:  107 lbs
To Go: 71.2 lbs

My Latest at Your Movie Madness

It's that time again - I have been hard at work (man, what could be better 'work' than watching movies, then telling everyone what I think of them?) and have a few more reviews to share!  My original plan was to link up every week, but I'm a bit behind!  Here are my latest opinions over at Your Movie Madness!

Phantom - 4/10
Phantom seemed to show up in theaters just as it’s title suggests – slipping into our local cineplex without notice. I saw it in the listings and after watching the preview thought it looked interesting and exciting. I enjoy military movies and disaster movies, so it seemed right up my alley.  keep reading

Warm Bodies - 9/10
I’m not too proud to admit that I got swept up in the Zombie craze that’s been going on the last few years. I love exploring the mythologies and worlds created through each author or director’s vision. I live for the stories and worlds that are unique, but even I didn’t expect to hear the words zombie and love story in the same sentence. Beyond hearing them, I never would have expected that they would not only work, but sweep me away.  keep reading

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters - 7/10
During the previews for Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters I suddenly realized I had not seen a single preview for the movie I was about to see. I was surprised, since this one is right up my alley. If it’s got vampires, werewolves, fairies, or witches, chances are I’ll be there. I’m a huge supernatural fan, and intrigued by the re-imagining of classic fairy tales, especially when they swing more towards their darker origins.  keep reading

Zero Dark Thirty - 8/10
From the moment I heard about Zero Dark Thirty, I knew I wanted to see it. Once I heard Kathryn Bigelow was on board, I was even more interested. This is Bigelow’s first feature film since 2009’s The Hurt Locker, which made her the first female Best Director winner, also taking home Academy Awards for Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay among others. Zero Dark Thirty is a dramatized account of the 10 year manhunt for terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden. The story centers around Maya (Jessica Chastain – The Debt, The Help), a CIA officer who has spent her entire career with the CIA focused on finding a man known as Abu Ahmed, who works as a personal courier for Bin Laden. Maya works closely with another CIA officer, Dan (Jason Clarke – Public Enemies, Lawless), and various other operatives in the middle east and later back in Washington D.C. As the years go by, we follow Maya as she becomes more deeply invested in and affected by her hunt for America’s most wanted criminal. keep reading

The Impossible - 8/10
Every so often in our lives, events occur that are incomprehensible. It is almost impossible to comprehend the horror of the people caught in the towers on September 11, genocide in Rwanda, or on the beach when the tsunami struck Thailand in 2004. In The Impossible, director J. A. Bayona (The Orphanage) dares us to try. keep reading

Week 2: Short & Sweet

Current Weight:  231.2
+/-  this week:  -1.2
+/- this round:   -1.2
+/- total:    -35.8
Short Term Goal:  222.4

Avg weekly loss needed to reach 189 lbs by age 33 (34 weeks): 1.2 lbs/wk

Well.  That happened.  So that's good.  Especially since I had a bit of a... snafu... on Sunday that involved me eating ALL THE FOOD.  At least that's what it felt like.  I ended the week 20 points over my weekly goal, which isn't as bad as it could be.

This week's a challenge.  Date night last night (which included a margarita the size of a small infant), a birthday at work today with pizza & ice cream, and the women's retreat and birthday celebrations at book club on Sunday.  We'll see.  I am doing a lot better and it feels good to be back on plan again.

That's all for now!

Starting Weight 1 (Feb 2009):  267 lbs
Starting Weight 2 (Dec 2011):  249.8 lbs
Starting Weight 3 (Feb 2013):  232.4 lbs
Starting BMI:  41.8

Weight Lost:  35.8 lbs
Goal Weight: 160 lbs
Goal BMI:  25.1

Old Goal 1: 237.8 (5%) - Met 1/24/12
Old Goal 2: 225.8 (10%) - Met 4/10/12
Old Goal 3:  217 (50 pounds down) - Met 8/7/12
Old Goal 4: 213.5 (50% of final goal) - Met 9/25/12


Short Term Goal 1:  222.4 (10 pounds down this round)
Short Term Goal 2: 217 (50 pounds down [again...])
Short Term Goal 3:  207 (60 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 4: 199.9 (under 200 for the first time in 7+ years)
Short Term Goal 5: 192 (75 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 6: 189 (25% &  no longer "obese")

Long Term Goal: 160 lbs
Total to Lose:  107 lbs
To Go: 71.2 lbs

Week 1: AGAIN.

Current Weight:  232.4
+/-  this week:  +22 since last weight (Oct 2012)
+/- this round:   N/A
+/- total:    -34.6
Short Term Goal:  222.4

Avg weekly loss needed to reach 189 lbs by age 33 (35 weeks): 1.14 lbs/wk

Well.  Here we are.  Again. This road sucks. Someone posted this in my healthy moms group on Facebook today, and it really hits home.

First off, I obviously haven’t been around here as much lately. I have these other huge projects going on in my life that are taking up whatever spare time I have, and this place has taken the back burner, and probably will continue to for a while. For now you can find me at Born in Bellingham, Your Movie Madness, and sometimes at Ready, Set, Birth. And of course you can always connect with me on Facebook.  I’m trying to spend a little less time online too focusing on my family and finding a balance is just not easy. I may write from time to time, but for now the one thing I will really be focusing on posting here is weekly weight updates.

I saw a new doctor on Monday, a naturopath my mom has been seeing for a long time, and talked to him about everything – my thyroid, my hormones, my weight struggles. He’s really funny and I believe he’ll be able to help me get everything balanced out. It was refreshing to go to a doctor who basically said, ‘yeah, your body sucks. It sucks that you got this body with these problems and that you can’t just lose weight, and keep it off with a normal diet, that it comes back so easily and is hard to lose.’ He understands, and he sympathized with me, and I know he’ll be supportive and non-judgmental, which is what I need. It’s hard to go to a doctor after having gained 20 pounds in three months and not feel like kind of a failure, but he didn't make me feel like that at all. This morning I went and got 9 vials of blood drawn, and I’m going back next week because he’s basically testing everything so we can figure out my medications so that at least that won’t be in the way of my efforts.

So… yeah. In October, I was down to 210 lbs. Less than I’ve weighed in probably 8 years. I went off the plan. I have not been exercising. I’m working full time now, and I haven’t figured out a good way to get exercise in when I get up, get everyone ready, work all day and don’t get home until 6 or 6:30, and then am exhausted. It sucks because last year at this time I was spending 1-2 hours every day wandering, walking, or doing some kind of activity. It turns out that working also hasn’t been as good for my weight loss as I’d hoped in other ways too. I had hoped that being away from the kitchen would help, but there are temptations here – ordering food for lunch, candy and treats etc., McDonalds right there on the way to work every day. Today is my second day of counting points again. I did really well yesterday, and after dinner I was right at points. Then I ate 6 girl scout cookies…. That’s TWELVE points. UGH. I know I have my weekly points, and I’m trying to give myself a break since I’m just starting again, but it’s hard not to be annoyed.

I stopped at WW today and got weighed, which I’ll try to do every week. I’ll probably do it on Tuesdays since that is a morning where I won’t have Danny with me to drop off at day care and it’s much easier to do it on my own. I can stop there pretty easily after dropping Justin off at work, or on my way if I don’t drop Justin off.

I’ve decided that my goal for this year is to get to 189 by my birthday. 189 will mark no longer being considered ‘obsese’. I know that BMI is a crock of shit basically (honestly, the low end of my range is 120. Gross.), but I’m just using it as a marker anyhow because my goals have to come from somewhere. I’m still listing my long term goal here as 160, but I’m not sure I’ll stick with that. I was 180 for many years and was pretty happy at that weight, so we’ll just see how things are going if I manage to get to 189, and I’ll decide new goals from there. I really want to get under 200, and if I can get down to 180 or lower I think I’ll feel a lot healthier and able to do more.

I have short term goals listed at the bottom here, and my first one is 222.4 – lose 10 pounds. I know I can do this. I KNOW. I just have to find inspiration somewhere. Again.

Starting Weight 1 (Feb 2009):  267 lbs
Starting Weight 2 (Dec 2011):  249.8 lbs
Starting Weight 3 (Feb 2013):  232.4 lbs
Starting BMI:  41.8

Weight Lost:  34.6 lbs
Goal Weight: 160 lbs
Goal BMI:  25.1

Old Goal 1: 237.8 (5%) - Met 1/24/12
Old Goal 2: 225.8 (10%) - Met 4/10/12
Old Goal 3:  217 (50 pounds down) - Met 8/7/12
Old Goal 4: 213.5 (50% of final goal) - Met 9/25/12


Short Term Goal 1:  222.4 (10 pounds down this round)
Short Term Goal 2: 217 (50 pounds down [again...])
Short Term Goal 4:  207 (60 pounds down)

Short Term Goal 5: 199.9 (under 200 for the first time in 7+ years)
Short Term Goal 6: 192 (75 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 7: 189 (25% &  no longer "obese")

Long Term Goal: 160 lbs
Total to Lose:  107 lbs
To Go: 72.4 lbs

Find me at Your Movie Madness!

In December, the husband of a neighbor and friend who is in the film industry started a Facebook page (soon to be full website) for movie reviews.  Writing for an entertainment website is something I've wanted to do for a long time, so I contacted him to ask if they were looking for reviewers.  After submitting a review, I was able to join the team at Your Movie Madness!

I am very excited about it, and will be writing 2-3 reviews per week and am planning on posting links here, as well as linking to them from my Movies Watched list.  I've seen preliminary designs for the website that will hopefully be up in the next couple of weeks, and it's sleek and clean.  I'll be sure to post a link as soon as it's up.  In the meantime, here are the three I've written so far!

Trouble With the Curve - 7/10
I missed Trouble With the Curve the first time around, but with the opening of a brand new theater in Bellingham I had the chance to see it on the big screen. I generally love a good inspirational sports movie, and I thought it looked like a touching story with some laughs along the way. This movie marks the first directing project for Robert Lorenz, who was the First Assistant Director for Eastwood on Mystic River and Million Dollar Baby. keep reading

This is 40 - 7/10 (10/10 for Soundtrack)
Judd Apatow is on my list. You know the one. The one you keep in your head of directors, writers, and actors whose movies are a given - you WILL be there. He has written and produced some of the funniest movies I’ve seen in the past 10 years, so I was excited when I started seeing previews for This is 40 a few months ago. I went to see it on December 22, the day after it was released in theaters. keep reading

Les Miserables - 7/10
It took me about 10 viewings of the theatrical preview for Les Miserables before I could watch it without crying. I have long been a fan of musicals, and if I could have any job in the world, I’d sing on stage (SO far from reality). Somehow, I hadn’t seen the stage production of Les Miserables until a bit over a year ago when it came to Seattle. Instant love. The film adaptation is directed by Tom Hooper, who won best director in 2011 for The King’s Speech. keep reading

Jack Reacher - 5/10
Truth: I have been really on-the-fence about Tom Cruise for several years now. I have never exactly been a member of his fan club, or one of those women who swoons over him, but some of his behavior has left a bad taste in my mouth. I have friends who won’t watch any of his movies anymore, but I’m still willing depending on the movie. When I saw the previews for Jack Reacher, I was not super excited but figured I’d probably go see it as I am a big fan of police/military type procedural movies. I didn’t realize until after the fact that this movie was directed by Christopher McQuarrie, who won the best screenplay Oscar in 1996 for The Usual Suspects, one of my all time favorite detective mysteries. That would have definitely contributed to my decision to see this one! keep reading

What It Takes - Becoming a Birth Boot Camp Instructor

With Donna Damon Ryan (creator of Birth Boot Camp)
and Sarah Clark (board member) after receiving my
Birth Boot Camp Certification.

My fellow Birth Boot Camp Instructor Dani Long - the only other instructor in Washington - wrote this amazing post about what it took for us to get our certification.  She has kindly let several of us share it since she wrote it so well.  For most of us, this process was a labor of love, something we were willing to work hard for because it meant so much to us.  I want to write about my experience getting the certification and the trip to the workshop that made me sad to leave Texas (who knew?!), but for now I want to share this.  So, what IS a Certified Birth Boot Camp Instructor?

Good things take time (My adventure in becoming a certified childbirth educator) 
by Dani Long

 When you sign up to take Birth Boot Camp childbirth classes, or refer one of your clients to me, rest assured that they are not only receiving the best birth education available, they are being taught by an instructor who HAS BEEN THERE.

One thing that makes Birth Boot Camp unique is the extensive list of requirements that an individual needs to meet to be accepted and eventually certified.

I was REQUIRED to have had a NATURAL birth. (I have times 3!)

I was REQUIRED to have breastfed for a continous year. (I have breastfed a total of 50 months and counting…)

I was REQUIRED to attend births.

I was REQUIRED to read a mountain of books on topics including, but not limited to: pregnancy, birth, labor progress, VBACs, postpartum period, breastfeeding, postpartum depression, sexual abuse in childbearing women, baby care and attachment parenting.

I was REQUIRED to compile a massive list of community resources.

I was REQUIRED to write several papers.

I was REQUIRED to complete a very extensive study guide.

I was REQUIRED to attend the near 30 hour, 3 day, instructor training workshop in Dallas, TX.

I was REQUIRED to practice teach at the workshop.

I was REQUIRED to pass a 3 hour written exam. (Closed-book!)

 AND then the wonderful Birth Boot Camp Advisory Board decided if they wanted me – and they did!

Why was I required to do all this? Well because Birth Boot Camp wants to ensure that not only would I have knowledge to teach students about birth and breastfeeding, but that I had EXPERIENCE doing both. This is not some program that is a weekend long workshop you can show up to (without any prerequisites for) and walk away with a certification. (Yes, there actually are programs where no experience is necessary!). Sure, there are faster ways. But faster isn’t always better.

Birth Boot Camp certification is at least a 6 month process – and that’s if you are a fast reader (did I mention the mountain of books?!). It’s recommend that you allow 6-9 months of time to complete all your requirements before you head down for your final certification workshop. The reason so much time and effort is required is because Birth Boot Camp’s founders want my students to be sitting in my class FULLY confident that I am speaking to them from experience and that I know my stuff inside, outside, upside down. Expectant parents need to know that their instructor was committed to her practice, to her education and that she worked HARD to be able to provide them with the most thorough education they could hope for.

So when you are researching what childbirth class is right for you, find out what was required of your instructor to become certified. Has the person teaching you how to give birth actually given birth? Has the person giving you information about breastfeeding actually breastfed? Did this person have to meet rigorous requirements to be able to get up in front of you to teach? Did this person have to pass a closed book exam? If you are taking Birth Boot Camp – the answer is YES!

2012 Book List & Goal - MET!

I met my goal again!

Rachael's Books Read in 2012

Rachael Heiner's favorite books »