Writer's Workshop: Sister Love!

It's Thursday again, which means it's time for Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writer's Workshop!  We've all got the new year on our minds, so this week it was easy to choose which prompt I'd follow.  I chose #5.) Share a story about a sibling.

I have two sisters.  Kira is 29, we're almost exactly two years apart.  I was thinking the other day about a moment I experienced with her a couple of years ago, so I'm going to share that.

*****

A Perfect Moment
Originally published June 2008

My Mom got married on Saturday, to a wonderful man who makes her really happy. The wedding was great, they were married at a lake northeast of where we live, the actual wedding was in a meadow, framed on one side by trees and the other side by a lake and tree covered mountains. There was no civilization to be seen, just a group of family in friends and they said their vows and brought our families together. It was perfect. The reception was in an amazing group picnic shelter there with a big fire pit in the center, and a kitchen area with a stove and sink. Wine and beer and amazing food were had, the cake was cut, producing my favorite photo from the entire day, and the guests began to dwindle.

At 11:00 when we had to be out of the shelter, we headed to a smaller shelter with a fireplace and picnic table just across the dirt road from the cabins we were staying in, and down the road from where other guests were camping. We lit the fire, and there were eight of us just chatting, including my Mom and her new husband, and my sister and her boyfriend. He broke out his guitar and played and sang. Then he handed the guitar over to my Mom.

She sang a couple of songs, "Wildflowers" and another one. Listening to my Mom play the guitar and sing is an almost perfect experience for me. She has a truly amazing, beautiful voice and it takes me back to my childhood, listening to her play her guitar and sing. I thought she was amazing then, but over the years her singing has gotten even better after being part of a chorus for the last several years and practicing. I was feeling so peaceful, and could feel tears of emotion prickling at the back of my eyelids as I listened and felt the warmth of the fire in the middle of a dark night after a day of celebration.

"She got it from her captain when he sailed around the horn, bringing gifts from China to their Oklahoma home..." As soon as I heard the first chords, the first lyrics, sung by my newlywed mother, the tears began to flow. I sat with my eyes closed, swaying, feeling the warmth of the fire, feeling so peaceful as the tears ran in warm, salty rivulets down my cheeks. I wasn't sad, I wasn't happy, I was peaceful. So full of emotion from the day, happiness for my Mom and my new family, feeling content. Then I felt it. My sister, two years younger, sitting next to me snaked her arms around me and laid her head on my shoulder. I put my hand on her arm and leaned my head against hers and after a moment I could hear that she was crying too. We sat that way, emotions melding, in the perfect bond of our relationship with each other and with our Mom, until the music stopped.

Later, when saying goodbye to my Mom as she went to go to bed and get up at 5 AM to make the flight to a 2 week trip to Costa Rica (wish I was there!), I asked if she'd seen us. She said she hadn't, but her new husband had and it had brought tears to his eyes... A sweet end to a sweet and wonderful day.

* The song my Mom was singing was "In China or a Woman's Heart" by Kate Wolf.

*****

My other sister is Lianna, who is 13 and in 8th grade this year.  I don't get to see her as much as I'd like to because she lives with my stepmom in New Jersey.  They're coming to visit in May and I'm beyond excited.  Thinking about my two sisters today also reminded me of a few moments of joy and fun we had back in November of 2008...
 

  

Writer's Workshop: 12 Peeks Back at 2011

It's Thursday again, which means it's time for Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writer's Workshop!  We've all got the new year on our minds, so this week it was easy to choose which prompt I'd follow.  I chose #1.) This year in blog posts…choose a favorite post from each month of 2011 and share.

January - I experimented with my new Canon Rebel DSLR and shared some of my first images here.

February - I wrote about the myth of the "grown-up," and the fact that no one I know has ever experienced that moment where you finally FEEL like a grown-up.

March - I struggled with something I am still struggling with - how much I miss my friends.  We are spread out now, in different cities and with different lives, and I still wish we weren't.

April - I shared my thoughts about Sam - our worries about ADD, how Dr. Google can scare us, and how sometimes being a parent is about knowing when to worry - and when not to.

May - Let's be honest.  I only posted once in May.  SAD!  I shared some photos from Sam & Danny's birthdays.

June - So... the early summer wasn't that great for blogging.  SHAME!  In June, I wrote about OTHER writing that I am trying to do in my life.

July - I said goodbye to Borders Books, where I worked for 3 years and spent countless hours browsing books and making memories.

August - At a Phish concert, I watched a woman smoke weed then immediately nurse her baby.  Here's how THAT made me feel.

September - On the second day of Kindergarten, Sam didn't get off the bus after school.  Mommy panic ensued slightly.  This month was a tie (sorry, I'm a cheater!) because I also wrote this review of The Panic Virus, a book about vaccines, autism, and the panic the media can create.

October - It's a photo post, but this Halloween was really memorable for me.  A costume my son loved, made from scratch by me & my husband, my second son being old enough to trick or treat, and the awesomeness and happiness made for a wonderful holiday.

November - I shared about how much I've been struggling again with my weight and my body image.

December - Looking at photos of 2011 in review, I came across photos of protesters being treated horribly by law enforcement and I wrote about how it made me feel.

What memorable moments did you write about this year?

Writer's Workshop: The Spirit of Christmas

It's Thursday again (where does the time go?!), which means it's time for Mama Kat's World Famous Writer's Workshop. I wasn't sure which prompt I wanted to choose, but #4 caught my eye:

Blast from the Past: What were you writing about last year at this time? Tell us what has changed (if anything) since then.

As I started reading through my posts from last December, I came across this one. I know it's going to sound lame (and I am excessively weepy), but I got a few tears in my eyes as I read it.  

18 December 2010 

Santa is Real. I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Today I was out for several hours with Danny, and when I got home my relaxation was interrupted by him barfing a whole bunch. Because we decided to see what would happen if we tried regular (aka NOT $25 a can) formula and, well, it didn't really work out.

So, at 4:45 I found myself in the car again for a quick trip to Wal-Mart for the bank breaking formula. My baby eats $125 a month JUST IN FORMULA. Plus baby food. It's awesome. Anyhow, as I was checking out with my Wal Mart brand soda and Great Value "zip-lock" bags, the people in front of me had a huge cart full of toys. Overflowing, actually.

The checker asked them how many kids they had. One, they answered. Just one?! was her response. Then they said that that wasn't even all the toys! There were more in their other car! And at home! And she's going to be so excited!

As I watched my total build up with the cat food, the formula, the generic bags, the $1 cheap toy I'd bought as a stocking stuffer, I remarked to the cashier that my kid's not that lucky, I think I spent the amount they'd spent on their one cart on ALL of our holiday gifts for the year.

She said something about the kid not being able to appreciate things (because of being spoiled). And I thought, what if I DID have the money? Would I fill up 2 shopping carts each with gifts for my boys?

I don't think I would.

In fact, I know I wouldn't. I would spend more money on my best friend, my sister, and especially my Mom. I would buy Sam something more, but not by quantity. I'd get him the Lego Airport he wants, instead of cobbling gifts together from various sales over the last few months and from trips to Value Village and Big Lots.

I have spent the last three months scouring sale and clearance racks for gifts that are both awesome AND affordable. I feel good about the fact that I stayed under the budgeted amounts I arbitrarily made up.

In the end, it's not about the money. It's about spending time with my family. It's about watching Sam open his stocking in our living room for the first time. It's about making gingerbread houses with Grandma, and driving around looking at Christmas lights, and the wonder on his face. It's about his letter to Santa, written at school, away from the influence of TV commercials or catalogs. He asked for a 'fox that shoots an elf' (think potato gun except instead of a gun it's a fox and instead of a potato it's an elf) and a plate that is only for pizza. I don't really know what to do with that, but imagining him walking with his class, holding hands with his best buddy on the way to the post office to mail the letters? That made my day.

When he's a little older, we'll teach him what Christmas means. We'll explain who the baby is that laid in the manger. And one day, when he is old enough to ask me if Santa is real, I will tell him - absolutely yes, Santa is real.

Santa is the spirit of the Holidays. He is in all of us. He is in the thought put into that perfect gift. He is in the food delivered to the food bank. He is in the posts of bloggers who have collected gift cards for people who could not afford their own Christmas. He is in the overflowing coat drive and Toys for Tots bins. He is in the giving tree, in every person who chooses a child they don't know, and makes Christmas happen for them. He is in the hugs from family we don't see that often, in the sleepovers with Grandma, and the sleigh rides with the Aunt you adore.
 
Santa is real. He is knowing that this is going to be a fabulous holiday, even if I couldn't afford a cart of gifts or a $100 Lego set. He's in me.

Money or no money, I wouldn't have it any other way.

A lot has happened in the last year.  We're not spending $125 a month on formula.  But this December, we have hundreds of dollars in doctor bills that I'm waiting to pay when we get the check from a side job Justin did last month.  We need new tires for the car (ASAP, the old ones are unsafe) and a new windshield (very soon).  We owe family money that we had to borrow because things were tight.  I need to replace my phone, which has had a shattered screen for the last two months.

Money is even tighter this year, and honestly?  It's December 6 and I haven't even thought about Christmas presents.  Or cards.  I'm not feeling too festive yet.  But there are things I'm looking forward to.  I've talked to my Mom and our goal for winter break is to make lots of stuff!  We want to put up the tree, decorate cookies, try crafts and new recipes from Pinterest, visit Stonyridge Farms, take drives to look at Christmas lights, and just have fun.

It's not always fun not having much money.  Sometimes it's hard when I can't buy Sam a new backpack just yet because we can't afford it even though his is a bit messed up.  But I hope that the upside will be that it reminds me to teach him and his brother about what is really important.  It's not about having a lot of stuff and big expensive things.  It's about family, love, and joy.

And I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Writer's Workshop: Five Things

Thursday's here again (Hey, it's December!), which means it is time for Mama Kat's World Famous Writer's Workshop!  If one of the prompts involve lists, the odds of me choosing that one go up exponentially, because, well, I have a little bit of a love affair with lists.  So, this week, I chose #2:

Five Things. List 5 things we don’t know about you, 5 things you’re knowledgeable about, 5 things you know nothing about, and 5 things you believe. (inspired by LouLou’s Views)

Five things you don't know about me...

1.  When I was four years old, I broke my collarbone.  Did you know that the collarbone is the most commonly broken bone in the human body?  I was taking a nap on the couch and rolled off and landed wrong.  I do not remember it, just a vague, dreamlike memory of doctors in scrubs.
2. If I could do any job in the world, I would perform in Broadway musicals.  Specifically, I would like to star in Rent, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Les Miserables.  (Bonus tidbit:  I know all the words to Jesus Christ Superstar, Rent, and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  And most of the words to Evita).
3. My biggest celebrity crush is on Alan Rickman.  It only grew 100 fold after he became Snape.
4. I played the piano for 6 years, from 6th grade to high school.  I wish I had never stopped, and really want to learn again someday.
5. When I was 18, I worked in a fish filet processing factory through a temp service.  It was refrigerated and freezing cold.  There were two jobs - laying out refrigerated filets flat layer upon layer to freeze, then later boxing the frozen filets into boxes that weighed a certain weight.  At the end of the day, I would undress on the back porch before going inside because of the smell.  I gained a HUGE respect for people who do jobs like that daily for years.

Five things I know a lot about...

1. Getting hired.  I know how to write a good resume and cover letter, and what NOT to write when you're applying for a job.  I also know the 'right' answers to most interview questions.
   
2. Nail Polish.  Okay, you guys, I have become a bit of a polish addict lately.  I blame pinterest.  For showing me things.  And leading me to blogs about nail polish.  I am pretty good at it.  I like to post pictures on Facebook if you're interested.
3. Books.  I am pretty knowledgable about books compared to the average guy on the street.  I worked in a book store for 3 years and am an avid reader, and am also interested in books as a subject.
4. The X-Files.  Yeah, I was a bit of a super fan.  What of it?!  We all have our weird obsessions, right?
5. Being a smartass.  Just ask my Mom.

Five things I am in the dark about...

1. Wine.  I know nothing about wine.  I don't really like it, and when I have to buy a bottle I generally ask for help & take an employee's word wherever I am OR shop by the label.  So, if I ever give you a bottle, it may suck.  You've been warned.
2. Fishing.  I've never been fishing.  I don't really ever want to go fishing either.
3. The stock market.  I just don't know.  I had to take a class about this stuff in business school.  I am not sure how I passed.
4. Being a good salesperson.  I have worked retail, and I can do that.  But I am NOT a good sales person.  If I ever had to work a job that depended on commissions, I would probably starve to death because I wouldn't make enough to buy myself dinner.
5. Fixing Cars.  When I was younger, I changed my own oil (with my Stepdad's help) a few times.  I can re-fill the windshield wiper fluid.  That's about it.

Five things I believe...

1. People are generally good, compassionate, and helpful.  Yes, there are jerks and thieves and sociopathic jerks.  But the majority of people will be there for you when you need them, and lend a helping hand if they can.
2. I believe that as human beings, we have a responsibility to be good to each other.  I think it is incredibly important in life to consider what we can do to help other people.  This is one reason I have so much trouble with people who are extremely rich and not willing to give back a little more to help those who do not have anything.  
3. Bread and cheese are the best foods ever.  They are good in any language.  Fondue, quesadillas, garlic bread with cheese, cheese and crackers, pizza, grilled cheese...  I could live on it.
4. The way we view birth in this country is really messed up.  We need more midwives, more education, and better information for all girls who turn into women who have babies.  We need to teach girls that we have amazing bodies that can do amazing things.
5. I have the best Mom in the world.  She is a support and a friend to me, but lets me choose my own way and isn't pushy.  She loves my kids to pieces and they love her so much that if she is around, Danny wants her to put him to bed instead of me.  She is smart, funny, and taught me how to be sarcastic like a champion.  She makes a killer pecan pie.  I could really write a whole blog post just about her - maybe I will!
   

Riding the Bus... or Not.

Tears streamed down his face as I tried to gently push him into the open door of the bus.  His hands grasped the doors, resisting, and he looked so small compared to that big yellow bus.  He was absolutely beside himself.  Even as his friend was calling to him from inside the bus, telling him to come, he just wouldn't.  They couldn't wait.  I pulled him back and he crumpled to the ground, I pulled his arm and told him to get up.

By the time we got home, he was calm again.  I, on the other hand, was beside myself.  I was angry at him.  So angry that he couldn't just get on the bus, that now he would be late for school, that I had to hurry and get ready, that I had to get his little brother ready and take him inside the school too.  Angry because it's not convenient to drive him every day.

I was also extremely upset.  We have a really strong emotional connection, and when he breaks down like that it breaks my heart.  I KNOW that he is not just trying to be difficult, I know that he was really upset about getting on the bus.  I hate seeing him that way.  I hate that he feels so scared or uncomfortable or whatever that he will physically pull back from getting on the bus.  I hate that the bus driver and the other kids witness it too. 

I've tried talking to Sam about why he doesn't want to ride the bus.  Mostly, his answer is that he wants to be with me.  Between the adjustment to school - going from 2.5 hours of preschool 4 days a week to 6.5 hours of school plus bus time 5 days a week - and tension at home, he is unsettled.  He is clingy, and now there are no substitutes.  He wants me to play with him, put him to bed, drive him to school.  All of it.

It's exhausting.  Having someone want that much of me just drains me.  And since Danny is only 18 months old, it's more like having two people who want me like that.  Sometimes I feel like I just want to climb up high where no one can reach me so I can just be by myself for a few minutes.

With the bus, I'm not sure what to do.  He has relayed that there WAS an incident one day.  There are 3 boys at the playground/bus stop that Sam is friends with and plays with.  One of them in particular is very hot and cold with Sam.  One day they play well, and the next day this boy is not really being Sam's friend and is tattling on him or sometimes making fun of him in a way.  Apparently, when Sam tried to sit in a seat with this boy and one of the others one day, they pushed him out of the seat.

Sam is a really sensitive kid, and it's hard for him to understand why someone would be his friend one day and not the next.  He is a good friend, and he would never turn and NOT want to play or be friends anymore.  His friends mean the world to him, and it's confusing to him when they don't want to be around him or are not being that nice to him.

Between the pushing incident and the general rowdiness and number of kids on the bus, I think it's not a place he feels that safe.  He has said that he doesn't like it because there are so many kids and only one grown up.  And that grown up is concentrating on driving the bus, and can't be watching every second.

I'm just not sure what to do at this point.  I could just drive him to school every day.  It's not that convenient - it's about 10-15 minutes each way, and once I get there I have to unstrap Danny and walk Sam into his classroom.  BUT it would give us more time in the morning, he would be able to get 15 or 20 more minutes of sleep and have a bit more time to wake up and get ready.  Maybe we could split it so that I drive him a few times a week and Justin drops him off some days, or my Mom could take him on days she is volunteering at the school.  I also talked to his special ed teacher, and it is a possibility to get him on the special ed bus.  It would be a smaller bus with less kids, and maybe he'd feel more comfortable.  When I suggested it to him though, he was just concerned that his friends wouldn't be on it.  Which is funny, because he won't get on the bus his friends ARE on.

Is it really worth it to try and force him to ride the bus?  Maybe I should just wait until he's ready.  If I thought that he was doing this just because he wants to be with me, I might try to force it.  But I really do feel like he is not comfortable on the bus.  The last thing I want to do is force him into a situation that is making him anxious or unsure.  I know that going to school takes a lot of effort for him.  He gets tired, and I don't want him starting his day every day with something that's stressing him out.  

Have you deal with a challenge like this?  How did you resolve it?


This week, I chose prompt #2.) Your biggest parenting challenge and/or joy.

Writers Workshop: Boys, Boys, Messy Boys

This week, one of the writing prompts at Mama Kat's reminded me of another opportunity I'd seen on The SITS Girls website.  So, I'm gonna go ahead and kill two birds with one stone here!

1.) The SITS Girls are giving away a Canon Rebel Camera and are asking people to enter by writing a post following these directions and answer this prompt: Spending time with friends and family can lead to fun and memorable moments, but also some very messy ones. Tell us about the messiest moments that you’ll always remember! Let’s hear yours!

I know that all kids can be messy, but it seems like boys just have that little extra thing inside... that thing that makes them want to do things.  Messy things.

They eat messy.





They play messy (and eat rocks, apparently).



They make mischief messy.



When Sam was about three years old, I took him to the park one day and we were exploring the shore of the lake.  It was wet outside, as Washington tends to be, and the sand was wet and a bit muddy.  We met a woman there who had a dog, and Sam started throwing the frisbee for her dog and having a grand old time.  He was also getting all dirty.  She asked me if he was my first child, and when I replied that he was, she complimented me on the fact that I was so calm about him getting dirty.  She said that she knows many parents who, especially with their first, are not so easygoing about dirt.

I guess I just feel that we have five senses for a reason.  Kids like to FEEL things, they like to explore the world by putting their hands in mud.  By sprinkling sand over their heads.  By rubbing baby powder into your couch.  They put their hands in yogurt, and learn how it feels to smear it all over their faces.  They splash and watch the water fly and feel it hit their skin.  They put Play-doh in their mouths.  Then spit it out on your carpet.  They roll down hills and get grass stained.  They eat ice cream with such abandon that a river of chocolate runs down their chin, and down their clothing.  

Sometimes, it's hard to clean up.  But really, that's what washers and driers and soap and Clorox bleach are for, right?  Dirt is temporary, but the smiles and memories and the happiness they get from being dirty?  Those are forever.

I received information about Clorox’s Bleach It Away campaign and am sharing my messy moment for the chance to win prizes from The SITS Girls. To learn more about the messy moment program, check out www.BleachItAway.com.  Sharing your story on the Clorox fan page gets you entered for the chance to win $25,000 and daily prizes, and you can grab a coupon for Clorox® Regular Bleach.

Writer's Workshop: I can't understand the world

I've been enjoying participating in Mama Kat's writing workshops. This week, I went with #3: 

3.) Write a post in just in eight lines. (inspired by Mommy Nani Boo Boo).  (I interpreted lines as sentences, so mine's a little longer than some of the others.)

Is that really necessary?

Complaining about a $70 increase in your taxes that will pay for roads because it's not fair that households with cars and households with no cars have to have the same tax increase?

Are you really that hard up, because this morning I saw a homeless woman on the corner begging for diapers for her child.

Having the bass up so loud in your car that it is shaking my car as I sit in front of you at a stop sign?

Refusing to vaccinate your child, then feeding them a lollipop with chicken pox so they can gain natural immunity?!?

Do you know that your non-vaccinated child can infect smaller, weaker children who are not old enough yet for vaccination and cause serious illness and death?

Denying gay people the right to marry, but giving that right to Kim Kardashian and watching her get divorced after 72 DAYS?

Sometimes I can't understand the world around me.

Writer's Workshop: Been there, done that!

I'm playing along with writer's workshop again this week, with prompt #1:Last week we wrote about what we have never done…this week write a list of 22 things you HAVE done. (inspired by Sellabit Mom)

1. Eaten pizza in Rome.

2. Walked in a 5K charity walk.

 3. Ridden a Greyhound bus.

4. Read 50 books in one year (and will again, maybe this year!).

5. Ridden on an elephant.

6. Ridden the Sling Shot.

7. Broken the most commonly broken bone in the human body -the collar bone.

8. Learned how to make stained glass windows.

 9. Read my poetry at an open mike (multiple times!).


10. Gone scuba diving.

11. Been paid to write (want to do WAY more of this).


12. Made my own pizza dough.


13. Eaten whale meat.


14. Earned a college degree in business.


15. Ridden a horse across the Welsh countryside.

16. Eaten a chocolate croissant in Paris.

17. Sneaked into a movie.

18.  Dyed my hair blue, purple, green and pink (one at at time...).

19. Bought & worn an authentic costume to the Washington State Renaissance & Fantasy Faire.

20. Picked my own blueberries.

21. Given birth to a baby in my bathroom, with only my husband there to assist.

22. Been baptized.

What have YOU been up to?


For more writer's workshop posts, visit Mama's Losin' It.

I Never

I've decided to play along with Kat from Mama's Losin' It and use one of her Writer's Workshop weekly writing prompts this week.  If you've been around here, you may have noticed that I LOVE lists, so when one of the writing prompts was to "follow the template I copied from The Pioneer Woman without her permission and list 22 things you’ve never done," I was ALL OVER IT!

I'm 30 years old.

And I've never:

1. Seen all 4 Indiana Jones movies all the way through.

2. Gone bungee jumping.

3. Worn thigh-high boots.

4. Ridden on a motorcycle.

5. Eaten raw fish.

6. Been to the opera.

7. Made more than $30,000 a year.

8. Gone skinny dipping.

9. Photographed a wedding.

10. Owned any Apple products.

11. Worked in a fast food restaurant.

12. Shoplifted anything.

13. Milked a cow.

14. Read anything by Charles Dickens or Jane Austen.

15. Pulled a dine and dash.

16. Made my own bread.

17. Been to Alaska.

18. Kissed a girl.

19. Done the Charleston.

20. Gotten anything other than my ears pierced.

21. Seen a tornado.

22. Spent over $100 on a pair of shoes.

 

Check out Kat's blog, and the other Writer's Workshop participants over at Mama's Losin' It.