Planting a Seed

Today, I plant a
seed - a new beginning to
nurture and to grow

The journey is not
through, but this leg has to end
it's time to move on

I have no map, and
do not know where the new road
will lead me from here

But I see a light
and I know that it leads to
a better place, love

It came to me on a random afternoon.

Days before, I'd received a reminder of your love.

Weeks before, I'd received a reminder that you were nothing more than a human being.

It came to me so clearly that I immediately recognized it as truth.

I have to forgive you.

You have caused me pain.

You have caused much more pain to others that I love.

I don't agree with your actions, but I can't base our entire relationship around this past.

I wish you had not done some of the things you did.

But they happened. Nothing can be done.

I need to forgive you.

I don't want to spend my time and energy on anger. I don't want to spend my life trying to make sense of this - it doesn't make any sense to me. Your actions don't fit into my patterns of thinking.

I won't defend you.

I won't pretend that the things you have done didn't hurt people.

I won't pretend that it's okay.

But I will move on.

I will move into experiencing the future as something else.

A new relationship will be formed. Ideas and preconceptions thrown out the window will pass by the wayside, and something else will take their place.

I have to forgive you because I don't want you to be alone.

Some loves really ARE unconditional. I accept my love, and realize that I should spend my energy cultivating that.

So, I'm done. I'm not going to be angry anymore. Instead, I will try to be supportive of everyone I love, separate from each other.

I will love everyone for their good qualities, and I will try to help them with the bad, if they want my help.

I will provide support in any way I can, and in the areas I can't, I will wait patiently until my help is wanted or needed. Even if the time never comes.

So, this is it.

I forgive you.

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