Mommy Burnout

This week, I am struggling.  After being alone with the kids all last week while Justin was in Mexico on his mission trip and not getting a break over the weekend, I am feeling totally burned out.  It was hard to be without a second parent, and combined with the emotional aftermath of a great visit with my stepmom & sister, I am just exhausted.  

I hate feeling this way, I am tired and on the verge of breaking down, and I really don't feel like playing with my kids.  How awful.  And yet, here I am.  I keep going because I have no choice, but I admit that right now Sam is watching TV and Danny is passed out on the couch.  I need a vacation.  In fantasyland, I have a week to myself, to do whatever I want without thinking about anyone else.  To take care of my needs instead of theirs.  To stay up late and sleep all through the night, restfully, until I decide to get up.  In reality, when is that EVER going to happen for most Moms?

I know they're just feelings, and that I take good care of my kids.  But that doesn't stop that little part of my mind telling me right now that I'm failing.  I know it will get better eventually, it always does.  I think I should be able to keep giving, but today I just feel like there is nothing left to give.  

So, that's that... for today.