The Story

So, when we were trying to get pregnant with Sam, it took 2 years. 18 months of Clomid, lots of ovulation predictor kits, shots, four artificial inseminations and giving up. That's right, when I finally got pregnant with Sam I was SURE I was NEVER going to get pregnant - we had started saving up for adoption.

We started trying to have another one when Sam was about 18 months. My PCOS was incredibly over-stimulated by drugs, which knocked us out of the game for a few months because my ovaries were having a giant party, and not in a good way. We did one round of IUI right before Justin was diagnosed with Celiac. After that, we had to take a break for him to get healthy and we didn't have the money to do anything having to do with fertility treatments.

At the end of last year, I finally saw a new doctor an endocrinologist, and was diagnosed with a myriad of things. I got put on thyroid meds, and in February I started Weight Watchers. Justin and I talked about it and decided that I would focus on my health for a while. Living in our old house, we started to wonder if we'd have another one at all. I always wanted two, but I was starting to think about what it would be like to just have one. I came to the conclusion that if I got pregnant (we haven't used protection in over 5 years) it would be okay, but we weren't going to try and it would be okay if we just had Sam.

About 3 months ago, I went to the endocrinologist again and told her I wanted to do Metformin to treat the PCOS. The main reason I wanted to do it was to regulate my cycles (sorry dudes, but it's a part of the story), because well, they can be a freaking pain when they are out of whack. The doctor reminded me that Metformin can affect fertility. I came home and told Justin that in the next 6 weeks we would have to make some kind of decision about whether we were going to use birth control. We never really made a decision.

When we moved to the new house at the beginning of July, I realized howmuch more relaxed I felt and how stressed I'd felt living at the other house. I started to feel like I did want another baby. It was not the same as the first time, no longings, no desperation, just a small feeling that maybe it would be nice. We talked about it a few weeks later, and decided we wouldn't try - no ovulation predictor kits, no temperature charting, but we'd continue to 'not prevent' and whatever happened would happen.

On Saturday, we were down in Seattle at my friend Violet's. I'd gone to the Pacific Science Center with her and some other friends Friday and it had exhausted me SO much. Saturday afternoon I passed out cold on her couch. In the middle of the day. With four kids playing around me. I thought that was pretty weird. By the time we got back up to Bellingham, I had decided I wanted to take a pregnancy test. Not because I thought I was pregnant, but rather to remind myself that I was NOT pregnant so I could just stop thinking about it. I fell asleep that night at 10, so I didn't take the test until the next morning.

It IMMEDIATELY turned positive. I just sat there and stared at it. I did not expect that in any way! Really? It was that easy? I guess it is a good testament to the fact that I am healthier now! And it reaffirms our plan for Justin to get the snippy-snippy after this one, because now we know we CAN get pregnant on our own! So funny how things work out, isn't it?

I am so excited, although tonight I've had a few bouts of nausea and I think it's probably just the beginning. Looks like I'll probably be back on the "I don't eat except some crackers and whatever I eat goes directly to the baby but it's not enough so it also eats my fat" weight loss plan. I lost 50 lbs when I was pregnant with Sam, and he grew just fine, when you start out overweight you've got room. As for now, I'm mostly just tired, and no food really sounds good to me even when I know I'm hungry.

I can't wait though. For all of it. I'm calling the doctor tomorrow and between a little spotting and my wonky hormone history, I'm hoping to go in ASAP for some bloodwork and MAYBE an early ultrasound if I'm lucky.

I'll try not to let this turn into a pregnancy fest here, but I can't promise I won't write about it often!