38 Week Appointment

We just got back from my weekly appointment - 38 weeks, can you believe it? I am 2 cm dialated now (from fingertip/less than 1 cm last week), and starting to efface. It makes it a little more scary because something is really happening. He also measured my belly, which he measured at 42, while last week his nurse measured it at 37. So that's odd. Since the baby hasn't changed from head down, he said if it's still like that next week he might do an ultrasound, but he "didn't think the baby suddenly became ginormous". Yes, my doctor said ginormous, and that's why I like him. Maybe Sam is just in a weird position today - or maybe he was in a weird position last week. Who knows?

Justin keeps telling me to pack a bag for the hospital - I guess I really should. I'm convinced baby isn't going to come early, but who knows what could happen? Woo! Just a couple more things to get done, and I'm going to try and do them tonight and tomorrow so that I know everything's ready and I can really relax. The last week or so has been GREAT since all the big stuff has already been done, and I haven't been worried about being ready for Sam to get here. There are just a few more things I want to do around the house.

Mom didn't end up coming down this weekend, but she is coming next weekend to visit with Kira and a bunch of her friends and their Moms. I'll probably go to Tacoma at some point during the weekend to see all of them, but hopefully Mom will be able to stop by here too. Also, my friend Kelly who was due the same day as me had her baby last Friday! She had a scheduled c-section for the 24th, but baby needed to come a little earlier. She is home from the hospital and doing well - hopefully I'll get to visit with her and meet the new little one before I have one of my own!

Well, we're off to pick up a package from the office and get parking stickers for our cars since we have both gotten new cars since we moved in here, then off to a movie with Brooke. More soon!

Happy Easter

Well, it's 11:45 on Easter Sunday. We're going to have brunch with friends at 1:00 - it seems it will be an odd mix of breakfast & regular foods, including frittatas, ham, and lasagne. My contribution is Baked French Toast Casserole. No, I have never attempted it before. I saw it on Paula Deen's show on the Food Network about 6 months ago and have had the recipe since then. The best way I can think of to describe Paula Deen is that she is southern and loves butter. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, the recipe I just made involved 2 cups of half and half, and the topping (praline pecans) included 2 sticks of butter... I hope I don't give everyone clogged arteries. Hopefully, it will taste good though. We'll see.

Things are not bad here. I'm pretty tired today, as I went to bed way too late yesterday, then had to get up every hour from 6:30 - 10:30 to go to the bathroom. Yay. Yesterday we went to Target to return a playmat I bought since we got one as a gift. It was a gigantic hassle that involved me talking on the phone to online customer service, who were not helpful. Since I ordered it online, I was supposed to be able to print out a receipt, but it wasn't working. At one point, the Target.com rep said she was going to get someone else to look at it because he was "more computer saavy" than her. What the heck? If you don't know how to work a computer, why are you a customer service rep for a website? Anyhow, all's well that ends welll, and we ended up with a few more new baby things. Justin hasn't done much shopping for Sam, so it's fun to go together and see what he picks out. We ended up with another diaper bag - I love the sling backpack and the idea of it, but when I started putting stuff it in, it's not that big. We got a bigger bag that will be better if we're going somewhere for a longer time, further from home, or overnight.

Not much else happening. I feel enormous. I am tired of my clothes and the fact that nothing really fits very well anymore, and that I have 2 pairs of pants that are comfortable and don't care to try any others. It's too late now to buy new clothes, so I'm just dealing with it - I just have to do laundry more often. I have to go to the bathroom all the time. I think my life savings is being whittled away on toilet paper.

Sam seems to be doing fine, he's still moving and shaking in there. My next doctor appointment is Tuesday afternoon. I don't expect any progress. I haven't had any contractions that I've felt yet, not even braxton hicks.

There are only 2 weeks left until Sam is due, and I am starting to get really nervous. Only now I am not just nervous about the actual birth, but also about the fact that in 2 weeks I am going to have a BABY and I'm going to have to take care of it and raise it. AGH! Is it too late to change my mind? Just kidding... I would not change my mind. It's funny how insanely life changing and scary it is though. I guess all parents probably feel this way. That's life. I know everything will be fine. Even if somehow I was lacking in the parenting area, Justin won't be. He is great with kids and knows what he's doing. I wonder if he thinks the same thing about me though?

All else is well. I feel like we have what we need. The diapers arrive Thursday. I'm going to try and get the rest of the little things left on my to-do list done in the next 2-3 days with Justin's help so that for the rest of the time I can TRY to relax and not worry about things being ready. Well, I am hungry, so I'm going to get a snack before I get ready to go to brunch! I'll update again soon.

Ninth Month Pregnancy Reflections

Girl or boy? Now that I've gotten to know you, I think you will be a:
I already know you're a boy, and I had that feeling from the start. Somehow I knew it.

My favorite names for you are:
Sam - your name! But I am sure that lots of nicknames are to come. Now mostly I just call you little guy.

The strangest name someone suggested is:
Since we've had names picked out for so long, we didn't get many suggestions.

The most useful advice I've received is:
Well, it's not something that has been said out loud, but the most useful advice I've picked up from friends through observation is to take you places while you're still little and sleepy and not running around! Also, to let everyone who offers to help me do exactly that! I plan to have people around so I can get some sleep, and so that Justin and I can go out and have 'mommmy and daddy' time without baby.

I can't wait for your birth because:
I am so excited just to meet you! You have been living inside me for so long, I already know you, but I can't wait to see what you look like and have you look into my eyes and see me.

At this month's prenatal visit, I learned that:
I've had three visits this month. I'm actually gaining weight now (9 pounds in the last month), and everything is good at every appointment. At 39 weeks I'm progressing, albeit slowly, and we're all getting ready for you to come!

37 Weeks and Counting

Can you believe it? Only 3 more weeks until Sam is due to join us. It's crazy. I had a doctor appointment today, Justin went with me. The doctor was out this week, so we saw his nurse. The baby is still sitting high, and no progress, which is okay with mea t this point! His heartrate was 140 or so, but my blood pressure was low today - 110/64. She felt around my tummy and guestimated that Sam's getting towards 6 pounds now, but of course that's nothing scientific at all!

We stopped by the baby boutique at the hopsital on our way out and bought an exercise ball to use during labor and afterwards at home. My friends found with their kids that the ball can come in handy when the baby doesn't want you to sit down because it's unstable enough that it's still almost like you're standing. We also stopped & pre-registered at the hospital so we won't have to do as much paperwork when we come in for labor and delivery.

Kira came up today and we went to Babies R Us with her truck and finally picked up our dresser! I'm so glad to finally have it, it looks nice in the bedroom and now I have a place to put away the clothes that I've started washing, and a place to put the diapers when they get here next week. We bought spray bottles today to try and train Piper & Phoenix that they need to stay off the changing pad and out of the crib. I feel a lot more ready now, I'm sure there are things we still need, but we won't realize it until he's already here.

I also got a box of goodies today from Helene & Lianna! A nice book and very cute stuffed Kangaroo & Joey, and a bunch of clothes! There is a nice consignment store really near their house, so Helene went and bought some things for Sam - very cute stuff. Also included in the box was an outfit picked out by Lianna - I knew which one it was right away - see the photo album for details. Thanks to them, thanks to the things people have bought for us, and the things we've gotten from friends, we are really well stocked up!

Things are going well all in all. Sam is still growing and moving different ways every day. It's funny that he can still move around in ways that feel different than anything he's done before. Luckily he isn't beating me up too bad - he rarely punches or kicks hard enough to hurt me! We are getting ready now - we are mostly finished with our birth plan and working on lists of who to call when, and I've been thinking about packing some stuff up for the hospital so it's ready when we need to go. Mom's coming down this weekend, and I can't wait to show her the new stuff we've gotten. I'll update again soon!

26 Days and Counting

Do you hear that? 26 days until this little guy is due to join us in the world. I can't believe it. Things are going all right. I've been getting some stuff done during the day, but when it's later at night I still feel anxious, and my head is filled with the things I still have to get done. But, I have gotten the following done this week:


Put together the crib.
Put together the toy box. This was actually an ordeal, as I mentioned in the photo album. I put the whole thing together myself and then got to the LAST step, which was attaching the safety springs so the lid won't fall down. After I attached them, it would not close! I almost went crazy, and Justin finally figured out that the wood blocks that are attached to the lid to screw the springs into had been attached upside down at the factory. For some reason, the one thing they had to do themselves, they couldn't do right. Sigh.... all is well now though, and the tox box is very cute.
Called & set up the first delivery for our diaper service.
Called & made an appointment with the pediatrician next week.
Cleaned out the storage at our apartment to make a little more room for whatever we need it for.
Packed up some glasses in the kitchen cabinets to make room for the bottles & put them in.
Went to Babies R Us again and got a few more things I needed.
Talked to Kira about picking up our dresser, which is finally in.
I forget what else. We had our last baby class on Monday night and got a tour of the hospital maternity ward. I am still really scared of the actual birth, but I just have to try and be confident that it's all going to work out in the end. I like to have a plan for things, so I think that it's hard for me that I don't know what's going to happen until it happens and it is not something that can be planned.

I had a doctor appointment on Tuesday, I'll have them every week now. He checked and there is not progress or anything, but the baby IS head down, which is good. I don't think that Sam's going to come early, but I suddenly am realizing that if he did decide to come, they wouldn't try to stop it.

I'm happy, I'm excited, and I'm terrified. In less than a month, our lives are going to change so much. I can't wait to meet Sam, and for everyone else to meet him. I don't think I'll every feel totally ready, but I think that's just the way it is! I presume it will be the same way with toilet training, his first day of school, his first sleepover etc. I'm still looking forward to all of it...

BIG Shopping Trip!

I took my Mom to the airport this morning, and Justin went skiing, so I decided to stop at Babies R Us aftewards and finally get to do some shopping! I got a lot of stuff that we still needed.... pacifiers, crib sheets, a changing pad, a portable changing pad, hamper, the mobile that matches our crib set, receiving blankets, the thermometer... and a bunch of other things.

Of course, I couldn't resist getting some fun baby stuff. I got a little rattle, and a dinosaur toy with all kinds of parts, and I just couldn't resist the little baby tye dye t-shirt. There was no way!

I was also QUITE happy because the 2 toxboxes that match our crib/nursery theme stuff (the Malawi collection), have been unavailable through Amazon/the store for a while. The upholstered one is never on display when I go in, and last time I went, they didn't have the wooden painted one either. But I went today, and not only did they have it on display, they actually had one in their warehouse at the store! YAY! I was kind of resigning myself to the fact that I wouldn't be able to get it, so I'm really happy. It's very cute.

We are, of course, not finished shopping yet. But we're doing pretty good on the essentials. There are things left on the registry like the high chair, the booster seat, safety gates, but we won't need those for a while anyway. We may not even end up needing the high chair depending on when we start needing one we may be able to get one from Brooke & Dave (the best hand-me-down source EVER I might add).

As Justin said when I showed him everything.... now all we need is a baby.

Sarah McLachlan Lyrics

Sarah McLachlan does not describe what her songs are about in most cases. She says that part of listening to a song and it's lyrics for many people is applying your own meaning, or figuring out what the song means to you. There are 2 songs from her last album, 'Afterglow', that I was listening to recently, and was re-struck by what they mean to me.

The first is a song called 'Answer', which to me is about selflessness... It makes me think of the relationship with a real life parter or with your child.

I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end

Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind

There's another song on the album called 'Drifting' which has also become particularly full of meaning to me in the last year and a half. Although she did not say what the song was about, she recently has had a child, and when I hear this song I think about waiting to meet mine.

You've been gone so long all that you know
has been shuffled aside as you bask in the glow
of the beautiful strangers who whisper your name
do they fill up the emptiness?

Larger than life is your fiction
In a universe made up of one
You have been drifting for so long
I know you don't want to come down
Somewhere below you, there's people who love you
And they're ready for you to come home
Please come home

You walk in a room and the world stops to stare
Mesmerize all who are caught in the glare
Of the spotlight that follows wherever you go
Does it light up the emptiness?

Larger than life is your fiction
In a universe made up of one
You have been drifting for so long
I know you don't want to come down
Somewhere below you, there's people who love you
And they're ready for you to come home
Please come home