Knock on Wood

Okay, I don't want to jinx myself or anything, so everyone knock on wood, but I feel a lot better today. I don't know if it's just a fluke or if I'm starting to recover from the dreaded morning sickness. I was actually hungry, and regular food didn't sound as disgusting as it normally does! I'm really in the countdown now for waiting to tell everyone about the baby! Only 18 more days! I really can't wait, I just want to have the ultrasound and see the baby again before spreading the news.

Hopefully, everything will continue along this upward spiral! We're going to the movies tonight to see 'Serenity', which we have been waiting for for about a year! Hopefully I'll feel good enough to enjoy some popcorn. Baby went to his/her 2nd concert the other night - Green Day! The first was Ben Folds & Rufus Wainwright at the winery in Woodinville. Accidental alliteration! Anyhow, I'm planning on lying around this weekend and not doing much other than book club on Sunday. Wouldn't it be great if I woke up Monday actually feeling normal?!

PADD?

I think I have Pregnancy Attention Deficit Disorder. I'm back at work today but I CAN'T FOCUS!!! I know I have to keep working at least for the next 5 or 6 months, but it's been a struggle!

The good news (knock on wood) is that I am feeling better today than I have any time in the last week. I'm 9w2d today, so maybe this is FINALLY starting to subside. In any case, I'm feeling more hopeful today that the feeling sick all the time won't go on too much longer.

The closer I get to my 12 week mark, the better I feel. In a way it seems like a silly marker or goal, but once I get into the second tri-mester, and see my 12 w ultrasound where it actually looks more baby-like (which I will post that day for everyone to see!), everything will be more real and more relaxed for me. Also, I cannot wait to share the news with the rest of my friends and family, and people at work who knew we were trying. It's so exciting! Despite being sick and tired all the time, I am so happy. My life is turning out just great. I can't wait to have this baby and share yet another joy in life with Justin, who is one of the best parts of my life. Yay!

I Wish to Hibernate Now

I finally gave in and called in sick to work today. I'm 9 weeks today and have been feeling so crappy. I stil haven't thrown up (at least something good!), but I am nauseous for about 12 out of the 15 or so hours I'm awake every day. I haven't been able to stay up much past 9:30 lately. If I do, getting up and getting ready for work in the morning to get there on time is almost impossible. I wish that I coud go to sleep for the next three weeks and then wake up feeling better.

I am really happy even though I haven't been feeling well. I was talking to Mom this weekend about our plans for after the baby comes. I was planning to go back to work because I didn't think there was another option with our bills etc. But I realized that I REALLY don't want to go back to work. It's important to me to to figure out how I can stay home with the baby, and I'm committed to finding a way to make it work. I've looked at our finances a little bit and I am convinced that there is a way to do it. I'm really excited about this, although it's going to be really hard to tell my boss. I've told them I wasn't leaving and that Justin was going to stay home. But I did not realize that there was another possibility. I know that this is what is best for my baby and for my family, and I am sad to let them down because I love my job, but my family is the most important thing and has to come first. Hopefully soon we'll have an exact plan in place, and as soon as we do, I'll tell them so they'll have plenty of time to replace me & get someone else trained. As long as everything works out the way I think it will, I'll probably keep working until the end of March then be done. Wish us luck!

Wonky Hormones Too

Okay, so I know that I am definitely a little on the emotional side, and am always crying at TV shows and the movies. But lately, I cry at almost everything I watch. Including parts of the news. There was this story on the other day about this blind guy in New Orleans who had to leave his seeing eye dog behind when they evacuated and then they showed this video of him re-uniting with his dog. I was crying. Then of course, all of the shows are coming back on and making me sniffle... then Justin asks 'are you crying' and I'm like, leave me alone! At least now I can blame it on crazy pregnant lady hormones.

It's not just TV though. The other day we got a congratulations card from Justin's Mom, and inside of it was a gift certificate to Lane Bryant (my favorite store) for the "mom to be". I started crying in the car when I read it! I am such a goofball....

Feeling Better

I am feeling better today. I think maybe I was overambitious somehow on Tuesday with whatever food I ate. Yesterday I pretty much ate carbs all day and the biggest meal I ate was a slice of pizza for dinner. I felt pretty bad this morning - really tired. I really, really wanted to call in sick for work, but here I am. I just got done with a big project of re-organizing & cleaning out the entire office supplies area, which took my mind off things. Now I'm on my lunch break and thought I'd make an entry before I leave to get something to eat.

I can't eat saltines anymore. I ate so many for a few weeks, and they really did help my queasy stomach, but now they are soooo unapetizing to me! I have moved on to eating plain Cheerios with no milk. I ate some this morning after I was trying to make myself get ready for work, and they sat well, so we'll see how long it takes me to get sick of those.

More Ugh and A Good Doctor Appointment

Yuck. The last few days I have felt worse and worse every day. Getting up in the morning & getting to work on time is increasingly difficult. I have had about 1 hour of relief today from the "morning" sickness. Now (knock on wood), I haven't actually been sick yet, just terribly nauseated and sometimes wishing that I would get sick and that it would make me feel better! I am 8 weeks 1 day now, and am NOT looking forward to a possible 4 (or more) more weeks of this!! I don't think I'm eating enough, but it's hard to eat because everything sounds pretty gross and I'm afraid it will make me feel worse. I have been snacking constantly on crackers, and mostly eating a lot of carbs.

On a better note, I had my 2nd doctor appointment yesterday. It was my first appointment with my real OBGYN. I met with the nurse practitioner and she asked me about 1000 questions about my health/family background etc. Then she told me a bunch of stuff that I should not eat/do, and the debate over deli meats that Justin and I have been having was resolved. She also gave us a free diaper bag with hospital info, baby books and some free enfamil formula etc and scheduled me for my next appointment in 4 weeks, at which time I will have my 2nd ultrasound (yay!). I'll be sure to post those pictures as soon as they come. I also have a couple of other pictures to post, so keep your eye out!

I am dying to share my news with the whole world. Our original plan was to wait until 12 weeks, but it's possible I'm breaking down and won't wait the full time. We'll see... it would be nice to be able to explain to people why I look so miserable.

Second Month Pregnancy Reflections

The hardest thing for me to give up is:

Being well rested! I haven't really had to give up any foods/drinks. I don't drink much alcohol and I don't drink enough caffeine to do any harm to the baby. I don't clean the litter boxes, but that's not really hard to give up! Ha.

This month I told:

Leela, Tara, Kelly Dorman, Dad & Helene

They reacted by:

They were all happy - it's so fun to tell people! Kelly is pregnant too and was so happy for me - they all were - because they know how long we have wanted this!

This month at my prenatal visit I learned that:

I saw the baby at my first ultrasound on 9/13/05. We got to see the heartbeat and I teared up a little. Haven't had my first big pre-natal visit yet.

New pregnancy symptoms I had this month:

Nausea!! Uck.

My hopes:

That I won't get any more sick than I am now. That I'll be a good mom! The usual I guess :-)

My fears:

Throwing up. Really. It hasn't happened yet, which is great. Also, giving birth is scary. I know that I can do it, but the whole idea just seems so messy and painful! I know that I won't care when it actually happens though, especially once I see my baby. And it's all worth it, I know that for sure.

Ugh

Getting out of bed is so hard these days! I just want to sleep for a couple more hours... I'm getting ready to get in the shower, but I don't really like the idea of standing up right now. I guess I'm lucky that I haven't had morning sickness too bad yet, but what I am feeling still sucks!

On a good note, I called my regular dr. yesterday to make my first REAL dr. appointment. My other doctor said that they'd probably schedule me in 2-4 weeks, but when I called they made me an appointment for next Tuesday! I was really happy, I only have to wait a week before that! The only thing that sucks is I know they're going to take blood. Hopefully I can drink enough water beforehand so it's not so hard from him. When I went for the bloodwork to confirm the pregnancy, they had to draw it from the back of my had both times.

All right, enough avoidance, I better go get ready for work!

First Doctor Appointment Today!

I just got back from my 1st post-pregnancy doctor appointment at the reproductive clinic. It was just for an ultrasound, they'll do the full exam when I go in to my regular doctor in a few weeks.

We saw the baby! Well, it doesn't really look like a baby yet, but we saw the little blob. It's too early to hear the heartbeat, but we did get to see it. It was like a little fluttering light. I got really nervous just beforehand while we were waiting for the doctor to come in. But everything is fine and I will call later today to make my first appointment with my regular doctor!

It hasn't been too bad... my feet seem to be getting a little bit better - sometimes after I've been sitting or sleeping for a while they almost seem back to normal. But by the end of the day, they're usually puffy and swollen again. I've started to feel a little bit of morning sickness, but mostly I just feel queasy (no throwing up or anything). I'm crossing my fingers that it won't get worse. The main thing now is that I'm super tired all the time. But it's worth it of course!

I found out on Sunday that Kelly from my book club is also pregnant, and due 2 days after I am! I decided to share the news with her since I was so excited about it. It will be fun to have another baby so close in age around! Well, back to work. I'll post again soon.

Tired

I am 6 weeks today! As time goes by, it starts to feel more real. I think that my doctor appointment next Tuesday will really make it real for me, when I get to see the baby and the heartbeat. I can't wait - a week seems like forever, but it will probably go by fast.

I am SO tired. It's 9:30 and I'm about to go to bed, which anyone who knows me will know is REALLY early for me. I feel like I could go to sleep for a week. This little bean is sucking all my energy out! So I have been a LITTLE distracted at work... between the tiredness and my swollen feet (yes, it's been that way for over 2 weeks now). I've woken up nauseous the last 2 days and have been snacking on crackers. Hopefully I won't get too sick... but I am still waiting to find out about that one.

I still want to tell everyone, but at the same time am not ready. I hope that the next 7 weeks go by fast so that I can share my good news. I got to see Leela this weekend and tell her, but I think other than that we're done sharing the news for now. It's been the best sharing with people who know what we've been going through with trying to conceive, but I really can't wait to tell all the ladies in my book club! I'll probably wait until the Nov meeting, I'll be almost 15 weeks then.

The time is crawling by, but at the same time going fast. The days don't go by fast, but then suddenly I realize that it's Friday and a week has gone by!