Week 42: Slow and Steady

Current Weight:  212.6
+/-  this week:  -1.0
+/- this round:   -37.2
+/- total:    -54.4
Short Term Goal:  213.5 (Halfway there - 50% of final goal) MET!
New Short Term Goal:  207 (60 lbs down)

Avg weekly loss needed to reach birthday goal of 200 lbs by age 32: 1.6 lbs/wk

Slow & steady wins the race, right?  I hope so!

Another pound down this week, and in my jeans.  I went over my points last week and didn't get too much exercise.

I need someone to tighten/oil my elliptical machine to see if it'll make it usable after Danny's asleep.  Right now, it's super loud.

This week I met a short term goal - 1/2 of the total weight I'd like to lose is gone.  That's a pretty good milestone.  My next short term goal will be hitting 60 total pounds lost, then after that 199 is really in sight.

Too tired to post much more right now, but hopefully soon!

Starting Weight 1 (Feb 2009):  267 lbs
Starting Weight 2 (Dec 2011):  249.8 lbs
Starting BMI:  41.8

Weight Lost:  53.4 lbs
Goal Weight: 160 lbs
Goal BMI:  25.1

Short Term Goal 1: 237.8 (5%) - Met 1/24/12
Short Term Goal 2: 225.8 (10%) - Met 4/10/12
Short Term Goal 3:  217 (50 pounds down) - Met 8/7/12
Short Term Goal 4: 213.5 (50% of final goal) - Met 9/25/12
Short Term Goal 5:  207 (60 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 6: 199.9 (under 200 for the first time in 7+ years)
Short Term Goal 7: 192 (75 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 8: 189.8 (25% &  no longer "obese")

Long Term Goal: 160 lbs
Total to Lose:  107 lbs
To Go: 52.6 lbs

Week 41: Up, Up, and Away!

Current Weight:  213.6
+/-  this week:  -3.6
+/- this round:   -36.2
+/- total:    -53.4
Short Term Goal:  213.5 (Halfway there - 50% of final goal)

Avg weekly loss needed to reach birthday goal of 200 lbs by age 32: 1.5 lbs/wk

Saw a much nicer number on the scale this week!

I stayed under my points and got some good activity.

I am 0.1 lbs away from being halfway to my final goal.

This week, I saw a number on the scale lower than I've seen in a long time.

When I saw it, I realized that part of me didn't think I would ever see that number, or any lower numbers, ever.

I am happy.

I am scared that I'll screw it up.

That I won't make it.

That I'll get stuck again and months will go by with little progress.

But I'm trying to have faith.

I think maybe I CAN do this.

199, here I come.

Starting Weight 1 (Feb 2009):  267 lbs
Starting Weight 2 (Dec 2011):  249.8 lbs
Starting BMI:  41.8

Weight Lost:  53.4 lbs
Goal Weight: 160 lbs
Goal BMI:  25.1

Short Term Goal 1: 237.8 (5%) - Met 1/24/12
Short Term Goal 2: 225.8 (10%) - Met 4/10/12
Short Term Goal 3:  217 (50 pounds down) - Met 8/7/12
Short Term Goal 4: 213.5 (50% of final goal)
Short Term Goal 5:  207 (60 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 6: 199.9 (under 200 for the first time in 7+ years)
Short Term Goal 7: 192 (75 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 8: 189.8 (25% &  no longer "obese")

Long Term Goal: 160 lbs
Total to Lose:  107 lbs
To Go: 53.6 lbs

Spotlight on Surrogacy

I met Tiffany Burke back in January, when my community suffered the tragic loss of a little boy.  I wrote here about how inspired I was by the way the mothers here came together to support the boy's family.  Before I even met Tiffany, I could tell that she had an amazingly big heart.  Tiffany is a professional photographer, and when I suggested the family might like photographs of the memorial service, she offered to do it at no charge, and on short notice.

I went too, and that's where I met her in person for the first time.  She was amazing that day, taking so much time and care to get these photographs.  She has an amazing eye in any situation, and after spending the car ride home with her and another woman I knew that they were good people.  In fact, I liked them so much that I sent them what could have been one of the strangest Facebook messages they'd gotten as of late:

Hi ladies! At the risk of sounding like a total weirdo, I am reaching out to you guys. I really enjoyed meeting you guys (despite the circumstances) and talking last week. I have met a bunch of Moms around Sudden Valley, but I haven't really felt like I connected with that many of them. I do not really have a regular group of girlfriends in Bellingham since we moved back up here three years ago, so I feel like it's silly to meet people who I think are cool and not try to see them again. When we're little kids, we just walk up to other kids we meet on the playground and ask to be friends. Parents arrange playdates, or they see each other at school. As grown ups, I've found it's not so simple, and maybe it should be! So, if you don't think I'm too strange now, I would love to get together for a girls' night out or coffee or lunch or something some time. Thanks again for the ride home!

Luckily for me, they did not think I was a total freak and although we haven't managed to get together yet, I have become friends with them in the Facebook world and enjoy chatting with them and seeing them once in a while around the neighborhood.  Tiffany has a big personality, a big smile, and a generous soul.  No one is perfect, but she is exactly the kind of person you'd want in your life, and an amazing photographer to boot.  Before I shot a friend's wedding last-minute, she invited me over for a couple of hours and gave me all kinds of tips and showed me photos so I would have at least a tiny idea what the heck I was doing.

It wasn't very long after I met Tiffany that I found out that she was taking hormones in preparation for In-Vitro Fertilization.  But, there was a twist.  You see, Tiffany was trying to get pregnant as a surrogate for her brother and his wife.  After they had their first child, her sister-in-law Natalie almost died, and in the process she underwent an emergency hysterectomy.  Not long after, Tiffany felt called to offer to be their surrogate.  I started following their blog, A Belly for Me, A Baby for You and became a fan of their Facebook page.  The first time didn't take, but the second time, they got the news they'd been hoping for!

Prego!

Natalie & James get the good news - their baby is on the way!

Tiffany and her family have decided to share their surrogacy journey with the world for many reasons.  Tiffany's husband Sean is a filmmaker, and they are in filming their journey to create a documentary film.  Why?  In Tiffany's words from their blog:

"Our goal is to help educate people on this world of surrogacy, infertility and to stop the silent suffering from all the women and men out there who have ached to be parents and hit constant emotional speedbumps along the way to their family planning. For every 100 mean comments on an article, we are receiving incredible emails from women who are feeling strength from our story, no longer feeling alone and feeling inspired. We don't want surrogacy to be considered bad or weird. Just like adoption should not be. People plan and make their families in all different ways now. When there are loving families and parents for children to grow up in, I just don't see what all the negative fuss is about. I hope our story continues to reach the people it needs to. Including the negative, judgmental ones. You never know who's mind you may open by speaking up about something so controversial.

As a reminder - I used to think that if you can't have children naturally, you should adopt. I was adopted, two of my brothers were and I have always ached to adopt. My husband and I will be adopting through foster care after the surrogacy. But, I had never been on the other side, I had never heard the hearts of these mothers. I had never taken the time to understand or to even listen. I just thought "my way" of thinking was the righteous one. Walk a mile in someone's shoes, then make up your mind. I never thought I would believe in IVF or surrogacy, let alone be a surrogate! The world is a very interesting place when you choose to open your mind and see it from another person's perspective. 

With all the mixed feedback coming in from the CNN article, it has motivated me even more to get this film made. We know we can make a beautiful film that shoes the ups and downs of surrogacy, infertility and the ins and outs in a medically accurate way. We still have lots left to film, lots more interviews and of course, the birth."

I believe this is a journey worth sharing, for many reasons.  After reading some of the comments on the article Tiffany mentioned in her post, I was shocked and upset about the level of ignorance and mis-information people have about surrogacy and what it means.  I think Tiffany is giving an amazing gift to her brother and his wife, and I admire her and her family for doing it.  It hasn't been easy, she has been very sick (blame twins!), and there are many challenges that come along with the journey.

Here's the thing.  In order to make the documentary a reality, they need backers.  That's where you & I come in.  Every dollar helps, and they have 13 days to reach their goal.  You can find all the information you need at their Kickstarter page:

I would love it if you'd go take a look, share it on your Facebook page, Twitter, or blog, get the word out any way you can, donate a few dollars if you have them.  It would mean a lot to me, and to them!

Dance, Dance

I haven't written about it like I used to, but I am a huge fan of So You Think You Can Dance.  The season finale is next week, and this year they're choosing 2 winners - America's Favorite Guy & America's Favorite Girl.  Which is awesome.  I definitely have a preference in the girls - I totally want Eliana to win.  I remember int he beginning of the season liking Chehon and Cyrus immediately, so I'm surprised that my two favorites made it to the finale!  The boys are tougher to choose a favorite from, because I love Cyrus, but in the end I think I'm really rooting for Chehon, and part of the reason for that is two routines he was in over the last couple of weeks.  I remember when I first started watching SYTYCD I didn't "get" contemporary dance.  Then came this routine:

And I got it.  Now, I don't really get Jazz, but we don't need to talk about that right now.  The above routine was the first one on the show that made me cry.  Last week, Chehon and All-Star Kathryn performed a Tyce D'Orio routine that not only had me crying, but rewinding it two watch again.  Twice.

This week?  Chehon did a Stacy Tookey routine with All-Star Allison that had tears in my eyes yet again.

Love.

And then THIS happened.  HOLY CRAP.


Here are a couple of other favorites from this season.

Also, here is a random video I found on YouTube of the top 15 dances (up to a certain point, I'm not sure when) that includes Bleeding Love, the Hummingbird dance, and that awesome addiction routine Mia Michaels did for Kupono and Kayla.



Do you watch this show?  Who do you think should win?  Who got booted that you wished had stayed?  What were your favorites this time around?

Week 40: Sad Trombone

Current Weight:  217.2
+/-  this week:  +1.6
+/- this round:   -32.6
+/- total:    -49.8
Short Term Goal:  213.5 (Halfway there - 50% of final goal)

Avg weekly loss needed to reach birthday goal of 200 lbs by age 32: 1.7 lbs/wk

Well, that crap happened.  Disappointing.  I got a lot of activity points last week.  BUT, I also spread my extra points out throughout the week and that seems to be less effective for me than having one day where I sort of splurge.  Also, I know a few ounces of it was because of the switch to fall clothing instead of getting weighed in the lightest summery clothing I could find.  It's a bit scary because the weekly loss I need went up and it's inched towards 2 lbs a week, which seems less do-able.  Oh well, I'll still try. 

Today another Mom on the playground mentioned that I looked like I'd lost weight and it was nice to have that acknowledgement.  I have lost over 30 pounds since the beginning of last school year, and almost no one has said anything as far as the people I see at the bus stop every day.  Anyhow, it always feels good when someone notices, you know?

This week I am going to be able to get some exercise, and I am going to try to stay under points and think about what I'm eating and not eat late at night.  We'll see what happens.

Starting Weight 1 (Feb 2009):  267 lbs
Starting Weight 2 (Dec 2011):  249.8 lbs
Starting BMI:  41.8

Weight Lost:  49.8 lbs
Goal Weight: 160 lbs
Goal BMI:  25.1

Short Term Goal 1: 237.8 (5%) - Met 1/24/12
Short Term Goal 2: 225.8 (10%) - Met 4/10/12
Short Term Goal 3:  217 (50 pounds down) - Met 8/7/12
Short Term Goal 4: 213.5 (50% of final goal)
Short Term Goal 5:  207 (60 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 6: 199.9 (under 200 for the first time in 7+ years)
Short Term Goal 7: 192 (75 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 8: 189.8 (25% &  no longer "obese")

Long Term Goal: 160 lbs
Total to Lose:  107 lbs
To Go: 57.2 lbs

Why I Love Them

Yesterday at the park, Sam fell in the woods and came out crying.  Danny went right for him and hugged him several times to help him feel better.

This morning, Danny started to cry his eyes out when my Mom was putting him in the car to go with her for the day.  Sam immediately went over there to give him a hug and try to help him feel better.

Tonight, Danny cried when I took him in his room for bedtime.  He didn't want to go, he wanted to watch more Caillou.  After a minute or two of him crying, Sam came up to the door and said "Mommy?"  I asked what, he knows that it can make it take longer for me to put Danny to bed if he comes and talks to me.  But he answered "Sorry for interrupting.  I think Danny is crying because he wants a blanket!"  It was just so... nice.

When I got pregnant with Danny and realized my children would be four full years apart, I was unsure about the age difference.  I thought that four years was a pretty big gap, that they wouldn't play together that much or that maybe they wouldn't be as close.

Sam is such a good big brother.  He tries to help Danny out, to get things for him, to make him feel better.  They chase each other and laugh.  The only reason that Danny went and hugged Sam when he got hurt yesterday is because he learned it from his big brother.  Every kid has their quirks, but Sam is one of the nicest kids I know.  Because of him, Danny will also learn how to be a nice boy and to treat other people nicely.  I am so proud of him.

Watching them be brothers just makes my heart so big I think it might burst.  For every little squabble or fight over a toy, there is another time when Sam hold Danny's hand or helps him reach a toy or when they laugh and jump on the bed or run around the park together.

There are days when I feel like I am failing.  I snap or I yell, I don't have the patience I wish I did.  But when I see them together, caring so much for each other?  I realize that I must be doing SOMETHING right.  I always knew that watching siblings together is an amazing thing.  I knew, but I didn't KNOW.  Now, I do, and it's just about the best thing ever.

Week 39: Keep on Keepin' on

Current Weight:  215.6
+/-  this week:  -1.2 (since last weigh in)
+/- this round:   -34.2
+/- total:    -51.4
Short Term Goal:  213.5 (Halfway there - 50% of final goal)

Avg weekly loss needed to reach birthday goal of 200 lbs by age 32: 1.4 lbs/wk

I finally went in and weighed in today - it had been a month since my last official weigh in.  The Bellingham Weight Watchers moved to a new location last week and it is really nice!  It was fun to go in and they had their mini bars on sale for $2.50 off, so I got a couple of boxes.  The toasted coconut are my favorite - they almost taste like Samoas!  I also got a box of the toffee peanut ones.  I like to take them to the movies with me in place of other candy.

I lost over a pound, which was great, and probably closer to at least 2 pounds since I had gained a tad since last weigh in.  Only 2.1 pounds to my halfway point!  Today is Sam's first day of first grade, so after I weighed in I took Danny downtown and we walked for an hour - he stayed in the stroller for at least 1/2 of it, which was great, then we walked together and looked at things.  It was nice to feel like I am back on track - I only exercised intentionally for the sake of exercise 2 or 3 times over the summer, and that is much easier to do with Sam in school.

Starting Weight 1 (Feb 2009):  267 lbs
Starting Weight 2 (Dec 2011):  249.8 lbs
Starting BMI:  41.8

Weight Lost:  51.4 lbs
Goal Weight: 160 lbs
Goal BMI:  25.1

Short Term Goal 1: 237.8 (5%) - Met 1/24/12
Short Term Goal 2: 225.8 (10%) - Met 4/10/12
Short Term Goal 3:  217 (50 pounds down) - Met 8/7/12
Short Term Goal 4: 213.5 (50% of final goal)
Short Term Goal 5:  207 (60 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 6: 199.9 (under 200 for the first time in 7+ years)
Short Term Goal 7: 192 (75 pounds down)
Short Term Goal 8: 189.8 (25% &  no longer "obese")

Long Term Goal: 160 lbs
Total to Lose:  107 lbs
To Go: 55.6 lbs